just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
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