My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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