You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
