I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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