..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Randomize
