I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Vodka?
Forever.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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