This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
