Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
We're too hungover to prance.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Randomize
