Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
