i was born a porn star she said
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
