We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
