well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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