Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
