you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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