The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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