SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
