i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
