This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
This toilet bowl is my home.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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