He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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