We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
