Joe is yelling at the trees again.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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