I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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