Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
