i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Randomize
