I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
