you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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