Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
