Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
