Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
When are your genitals available?
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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