Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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