Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
