Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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