I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
