so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Randomize
