my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
