I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize