Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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