i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize