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How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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