I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
