she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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