at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Randomize
