and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
