my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
