Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
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