Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Randomize
