Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
