wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
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