His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
