I want to stick my p in your. b.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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