I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I woke up under a house in Key West
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
The ass gains better be worth it
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