marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
