my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Two words: blizzard sex
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Randomize
