haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
