she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
