i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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