I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize