She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
