I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
