Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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